is filed in the folder of prayers of vanity, wherein you, no doubt, have put hundreds of requests, thanks to your parents who gave you the worst of the genes. There is, for instance, a request for white, porcelain, glowingly flawless skin, since yours is oilier than the cheapest margarine and has been programmed with acne and a suite of allergies. One day, after watching a Colgate commercial of some handsome guy, you also clipped that wish for a killer smile and better set of teeth, since yours are chipped and easily turn yellow. But to save ourselves time, let us just enumerate all the major requests: larger, round eyes (light brown), normal vision (20/20), thicker hair, sexier masculine voice, additional 10 inches in height, additional inches in length and width (bird), non-hairiness, bigger arms, pinkish-white feet, longer fingers, six-pack abdominals, to become American (2001), Taiwanese (2003), Korean (2008), etc.
We regret to inform you that all your requests since 1995 have been rejected. According to the book of fate, you've been irreversibly bestowed all the potentials to become a middle-class educated professional who looks like a smelly foot. This was done so you can tell the world the beauty of being a middle-class educated professional who looks like a smelly foot. And please, don't be zealously envious of male models in fashion magazines. They make a living by wearing clothes, while you do so by thinking. It's not that bad.
We hope you understand.
External Division
Institute of Beauty
Prayer Avenue corner Love Street
3rd Heaven, Heaven, 7777
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